Bunkum & Codswallop
Home Fly Papers A.P. Wire Stories Agent Profiles

We found this document in an FFFBI trash can, and as sworn Agents of the Free Press, we present it to you here:

FFFBI Internal Memorandum ref: 786Ugh


Our Advertising Agency thinks the FFFBI needs to improve its public image, and they've suggested the following new slogans for us to consider.

  • Our Agents are now 27% cleaner!
  • Nobody is smarter than the FFFBI. Except maybe the CIIIA. And InterPoultry. And Scotland Barnyard. And that kid on the corner with the yo-yo.
  • Even the baddest bad guys like to be arrested by Agents of the Triple F.
  • Forget everything you read in the papers: we're great. Honest we are.
  • Ostriches, antelopes, eels and weasels: everyone is welcome at the FFFBI, although parking is limited.
  • Of all the Bureaus of Investigation you might need, the Fin, Fur and Feather is probably one of the ones you should think about. Maybe.
  • The FFFBI: unlikely to foul things up particularly badly. And that's a promise.