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Aristocrat in Trouble Again
By Newt Sandwich
Amphibian Press Writer
May 30, 2023, 8:21 AM EDT

RIVER THAMES, ENGLAND — Toad of Toad Hall, Bucks County today pleaded guilty in traffic court to two counts of vehicle misdemeanor, one of which left several weasels in the local hospital. He was banned from driving for 3 months.

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Eye Solution Approved by FDA
By C. U. Later
Amphibian Press Writer
May 30, 2023, 8:59 AM EDT

NILE DELTA, EGYPT — Crocodile tears may be a thing of the past with a newly-approved gel patented by the Reptex Corporation. After simultaneous field-tests in both Nile waters and Florida Everglades proved 87% successful, Reptex boss Al E. Gator appeared to weep for joy. Reptex stocks closed up 127 points.

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Prince Names Heirs
By Sal Amander
Amphibian Press Writer
May 30, 2023, 9:17 AM EDT

FRESH PONDS, LITHUANIA — After a successful spawning last month, the Frog Prince today named the heirs to his Frog throne. They are Princes Aaron, Abel, Achilles, Adonis, Aeneas, Alan, Alex, Alexander, Alexis, Alonso, Aloysius, Alphonso, Alva, Andrew, Andy, Andy Junior, Angelo, Ansel, Anselm, Antoine, Apollo, Arnold, Arsenio, Art, Arthur, Asa, Asher, Austin, Axel, Baldwin, Barrett, Basil, Ben, Bertrand, Blaise, Blake, Boniface, Boris, Brady, Brandon, Brendan, Brent, Brent Junior, Brett, Brice, Bricker, Brody, Bruno, Bryce, Cadogan, Carl, Caspar, Cecil, Cedric, Chad, Claude, Cody, Colby, Cole, Colin, Colman, Colton, Conor, Cooper, Corin, Cosmo, Craig, Curt, Cyril, Dakota, Dalton, Damian, Dana, Darrell, Dax, Daz, Dean, Declan, Duane, Dylan, Eli, Elmer, Emanuel, Emil, Erin, Erwin, Esmond, Ethan, Ezra, Fabian, Felix, Fidel, Filbert, Florian, Floyd, Fritz, Garrett, Gaston, Gavin, Germain, Gervaise, Gideon, Giles, Glen, Glenn, Godfrey, Gomer, Grant, Greg, Guy, Haydn, Hector, Hendrick, Hercules, Hezekiah, Hilary, Holland, Horace, Horatio, Hosea, Humphrey, Ian, Ira, Irving, Ishmael, Ivor, Jamal, Jamie, Jared, Jasper, Jethro, Jethro Junior, Jett, Joachim, Job, Jon, Jonah, Judas, Justin, Karl, Keith, Kent, Kevin, Kurt, Kyle, Lance, Larry, Lazarus, Lee, Leif, Leo, Leon, Levi, Liam, Lindsey, Logan, Luke, Lutz, Marvin, Mason, Mordecai, Morgan, Myron, Neil, Nigel, Noel, Pascal, Paxton, Philbert, Quentin, Ralph, Randy, Raphael, Ray, Regis, Remus, Reynaldo, Rhys, Riley, Rolf, Romeo, Roy, Rufus, Rupert, Saul, Sean, Seth, Shane, Shaquille, Shawn, Shelby, Sigmund, Silas, Tanner, Taylor (after his uncle), Theo, Todd, Tom, Travis, Tudor, Ulysses, Vaughan, Vito, Waldo, Warren, Wayne, Wolfgang, Xander, Xavier, Xerxes, and little Zacharias.

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